To friends, clients, partners and employers

This is Nelson Eulalio, founder of the Wild and Wise Tribe, and I am writing this open letter to share something that has happened in my personal life in the last two months which has also impacted my professional life, and to advise of a situation where my confidentiality has been breached by a news article, as well as by how my ex-girlfriend has portrayed my character publicly.

I realised that was necessary to clarify speculations and rumours, and this letter comes from a space of high vulnerability. It is risky to expose myself to people who would not be aware of all this, including new employers and business partners, with the risk of losing more than I have lost. But I believe that full transparency is necessary, and vulnerability is the lesson I am working through. 

I am also writing to share my learnings from the events and to clarify my next steps with Wild and Wise Tribe.

The Domestic Incident Facts

Last September I was involved in a domestic incident and because there may be some speculations about it, I believe that it is best to be fully transparent and appreciate your time in reading this. I was in a formal relationship from October 2023 to April 2024 and after that we had a few breakups and comebacks from then until the time of the incident. I believed we had trustful, honest and transparent communication for the whole year of the relationship.

Prior to the day of the incident that happened on Monday evening of 16th September, I had arrangements to meet her. As she was non-responsive to messages and calls for the whole afternoon I became concerned about her welfare. When I went to her house and she didn’t respond to my calls, it was shocking and painful to realise that I saw through the window that she was in bed with another man. I called and knocked, but with no response and then all the lights turned off, I made the wrong decision to enter the house to address what I had seen. I take full responsibility for this and regret not just leaving and accepting the reality.

I was completely in shock, dissociated and entered the house I damaged the laundry door by forcing the entrance. I went to her bedroom and found her distressed and calling the police. I wish I was able to say more in the moment but all I could do was ask her repeatedly “Why??” which she ignored and eventually she told me to leave, which I did promptly and voluntarily. This was completely outside of my character. Very important to mention that there was no physical or verbal violence against her or anybody else, and no children were present.

For my actions, I was taken into custody by the police overnight causing the cancellation of my workshops for the week, and was received Wilful Damage and Trespassing charges, and a protective order (DVO). I was very surprised however by the version presented to the police, where it was mentioned that we hadn’t been in contact since March, except for a few messages. Despite those claims, however, we had a continuous relationship, exchanging messages and being intimate throughout.

Documents also included allegations that I am of an aggressive and dangerous nature. There are other contradictions and untruthful facts in the case, as well as in how it has been presented to the public by those involved. I have all the evidence to support my version of the facts. However, for the sake of this open letter, I will be focusing on showing transparency regarding who I am, my work, what I stand for, and the lessons I’ve been learning from all of this.

This event has hurt me deeply and has reinforced my challenge in trusting others. Through this I have been able to see even more, the importance of keeping my heart open rather than closing it. I want to be very clear that, regardless of how my ex has responded, she had the right to privacy in her own home and I realise I should have respected that and approached this differently. I take full responsibility for my actions without excuse. That decision, I wished I could undo, however, it was in a moment of shock, but my reason to enter was never to cause any fear, to threaten and cause any violence. And in saying all that, I also wished that the truth was revealed. Instead, this is my attempt to share what actually happened, which I truly hope is conveyed here, as it is difficult to have to share and reveal such personal information. I’ve been doing my best to process and embody all the learning from these traumatic events, which I acknowledge were painful for both of us.

The Aftermath

The courts and police acted with discretion throughout the process and the sentence was finally made on 19th November, when I pledged guilty and took full responsibility for my acts. Based on my spotless character, clean records (I was also a Justice of Peace) and the facts presented to the court, the judge ruled “no conviction recorded“, I paid court fines and damage restitution to her in full the following week. I began to feel I could start to find my way through this and focus on my healing, however the following day I received another unexpected and massive blow. The newspaper decided to publish an article by Sam Turner on 20th November about my case. The sensationalist article stated some of the court facts, however it was completely unnecessary to make my case public. To make it more speculative and harmful, only subscribers can see the full article. Those who can’t are left to just speculate about what could have happened, based on the misleading headline. This has the potential to impact me greatly.

To avoid further unnecessary damage, I wrote an email to their editorial department and asked for the article to be removed, as it is not required public knowledge, and it is actually causing more harm than good and it does not reflect my true character. The local news manager replied to my email stating that they are entitled to report it and that would NOT take the action I requested.

My background (for those who don’t know me)

Since my early adulthood I had the vision of working with education and mentoring and reconnection with nature (rewilding), but my previous busy life kept me away from that for many years. I had a good career as a creative designer and marketing professional but at the time I felt missing a real purpose in life. One day it became unbearable to not see my energy focused on the real transformation of the world, nature, and people. I was passing through what mystics call a “Dark Night of the Soul” (deep life purpose crisis) and was when I decided to quit my job and went to India for a few months of sabbatical. I did a Yoga Teaching Training and other courses. When I came back, I had things clear and I did a qualification in Outdoor Leadership and started to work with youth and adults with centre-based activities (high ropes, canoeing, rock climbing, archery, etc) and expedition-based activities (multi-day camping and hiking). I have built my skills and experience consistently and love what I do. 

Working with youth has shown me the impact I can have by being a great role model. I have received feedback from many who have shown me how I have made a difference in their lives. I know my work touches hearts and makes the world a better place. I know I’m here to be a mentor, teaching life and bush skills, and supporting change through counselling/therapy and experiential learning. I also realised that working with children has been so rewarding– it gives me a sense of purpose, and helping children in a way that I too, would have benefited if I had a mentor when I was a child. Healing is a lifelong journey and we can find healing in every experience, not just in therapy, transformational workshops, vision quests, vipassana retreats, men’s circles, etc, life itself can heal us, and that’s what I choose to take from this experience.

Family (and community) is something that is incredibly important to me. While I have no children of my own, I always had a deeply desire to be a Dad. I had always a the best relationship with my ex-partners children. This drives my motivation and passion for my work. I know I’m here to have a positive impact on families, creating better relationships and fostering selfcare. My background and trainings are vast and varied. I’d love to share more of this with you – please see my webprofile for more details.

The Wild & Wise Tribe came from this dream and my longing to make a better world and build a healthy community, teach life skills and offer rites of passage for youth and adults. It makes my heart so fulfilled and happy to be able to mentor and teach kids in a way I wished my father could have done for me. I put so much of my heart into my work at Wild & Wise Tribe, my other employments, and volunteer mentoring positions because I feel that these are my life’s purpose. 

Those who are closer to me, and work with me, know that I am a peaceful and kind person/leader and I never use any violence against anybody. I am fully against any kind of violence. I teach kids how to be resilient, self-regulate and understand their emotions, and I have always been supportive of women, especially single mothers. On top of that I’ve done martial arts for many years, yoga and meditation to bring my balance and inner peace to my life. I don’t drink or take any drugs and live a life of awareness and integrity, and standing up for what is right in a world that has been losing its ethical compass. 

As a personal disclosure, I was a child who unfortunately witnessed abuse from my father who was on many occasions physically abusive with my mother. Having witnessed this, it is something that I am very affected by any type of violence – especially to women, given my childhood. I hope that in you reading this you can understand when such matters has made me upset, traumatised and made me so unsettled to think that anyone could ever think this of me. And it is really sad to know that an untruthful version of the facts and my character has been spread on social media and in direct messages to friends and clients.

The Learning (and the wild edge of sorrow and grief)

The whole situation impacted me so deeply, on many different levels and left me heartbroken. In the depth of that grief, I saw that I had the option of shutting my heart indefinitely or opening it wider. With effort, I brokethrough it and decided on the latter.

Also, during the traumatic experience of being taken into custody by the police (for the first time in my life). I realised the system (understandably) was very biased against men in cases of domestic issues. I was automatically guilty in the eyes of others just because I was the man, which I have since heard from professionals in the field, is all too common. I also learnt how inadequate resources are for men in the area of Domestic Violence. 

I had to sit with the perspective of possibly no longer being able to hold my Blue Card (Working with Children Check). I was living with high levels of anxiety and powerless feelings whilst contemplating the scary possibility of having to leave behind my most important mission and purpose. Thankfully, the outcome in the courts meant this hasn’t occurred and I have been able to continue my work.

Not entering in too many details, after the shock I was living in a dissociative state for a while, lost 6 kilos in two weeks and was unable to sleep properly for a lot longer. I sought professional counselling, whilst I kept going with my casual work as much as possible, having no annual or sick leave available. Living on my own, I didn’t have any family or flatmates to support me. During those times I tried to keep my breath and my head up, and had some dear friends and supporters helping me to advertise and assist with my workshops. However, when the news article was published later on it came as a bombshell. When I heard of it I fell back into the nightmare and it was the last drop to finally snap my strength and it almost costed my life. I had to call Lifeline and am very grateful for some close friends checking on me and reminding me of the worth and value of my work. It has been a very hard time and I needed to create space to process and integrate it all. 

Character Reference letters

Please take some time to read below some of the character reference letters that employers, clients, friends, coworkers and an ex-partner have written about me to be submitted to the court. (I’ve removed their names to respect their privacy, but they would be very keen to be referees):

Surrender and acceptance

I have learned more layers in the journey of surrendering and acceptance, and to be vulnerable and seek help. On the journey, I realised how many beautiful friends, managers and co-workers have always been around me and were so keen and willing to write me character reference letters (see above). 

I realised how much strength that can be harnessed in those moments with new perspectives. I see that at some level it is all a metaphor for our spiritual journey and the path of “ego’s death”, and again I am passing through another cocoon phase in my life and I am hearing the call to step up into another level of work. 

With the whole experience, I also felt on my skin how biased the system can be against men and how many men can be in similar positions with a high risk of ending their lives, due to shame, self-criticism, lack of support, fear of failure. Certainly some lessons that I can bring to men in my circles to better support them and their families.

Character Reference comments on Facebook

You will find below a selection of supportive comments (among so many others) that were made by clients, coworkers, and friends who were also aware of the incident:

The Future (of Wild & Wise Tribe)

This situation does not change in any form or degree my commitment and passion to my life mission and purpose in the outdoor education, nature connection, and mentoring fields, and my best interest in supporting youth and adults in their outdoor learning and growth. However, I feel that I need some time to heal and integrate all of this during the whole School Term1 of 2025. 

As mentioned before, I can see even more clearly after this experience the importance of my work supporting men. We men usually try to resolve things and suffering on our own. There is so much out of my experience and learnings to share that I want to create a new program for men (and for fathers and sons) based on Nature connection and rites of passage. The program will aim for better relationship between fathers, partners and sons, and to nurture trust in themselves more so they can cope better with lifes challenges. 

I will keep my friends and the Wild & Wild Tribe community up to date with my healing and integration journey, but please feel free to connect. I appreciate your support and words of affirmation about my work, especially at these crazy times that we are moving into as humankind, when we all need more kindness and understanding. 

Thank you for your time in reading this, it was a raw and vulnerable letter fully exposing my personal life with the aim of avoiding speculations, rumours and misunderstandings about those events and the impact of them in my life. Namaste.

If you have any questions about any of the above, or want to offer support, please don’t hesitate to reach me out. 

Sincerily, 

Nelson Eulalio

Sunshine Coast Daily / Courier Mail article: “Nelson Eulalio pleads guilty to wilful damage, trespass at former flames home”